Jou's Clues
by Mesita
Summary: Ryou goes to Yami's house to play Dual Monsters, but gets trapped in a game of Jou's Clues. [Blues Clues Parody] *Re-uploaded because FF.Net deleted me!*
1. PArt 1

:: Kitzaku-san ::

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Gi Oh! T.T Nor will I ever... all I have is two very deranged muses. I don't own Blues Clues either!

Authoress' Note: Don't ask? U.u Well, I've decided that I love writing YGO stories... so expect to see very many. I'm... not really sure if I've seen a Blue's Clues parody somewhere before... but if I did. _GOMEN NASAI!!!!_ If I'm just hallucinating, then... I hope you enjoy! The bit about the refrigerator comes from Sounds of Anime by AnimeFly.

Thanks: Marisa the Allmighty Pineapple! She helped me out with the plotline for this pointless fic... ^.^

:: Jou's Clues ::

For some very strange reason, annoyingly loud and cheerful music sounded about a house that looked as if it was made out of cardboard. Yami poked his head out the window at me and smiled. He was wearing a green horizontally striped shirt and khaki pants.

"Hello, Ryou! So glad could make it!" he grinned at me. Then his head disappeared back into his house and he opened the front door to let me in. I've been here before, believe me. And Yami is the world's strangest man. Acts like I'm three but what can you expect from a thousand year old Pharaoh, right?

Yami runs into his living room, where Jounouchi, his 'pet' who looks more human than a dog, was sleeping on a giant red chair. I smile and scratch him behind the ears and he whimpers a little. So adorable.

"Today, we're playing Dual Monsters." Yami placed his hands on his hips. "And you can join us if you want to."

I smiled and nodded at Yami's invitation. I love to play Dual Monsters, so of course I would accept. But a soft wailing catches my attention, and I turn around to see Yugi dressed up like a shovel and sniffling.

Yami looks surprised. "Why, Yugi! What's wrong?"

Yugi sniffed and wiped his eyes. "I can't find my Dual Monster's Deck!"

Yami sighed. "Well then, we'll help you find your deck, little shovel!" He reassured him. Jou's ears perked up and he suddenly woke up.

"Bau bau!" He barked and turned in circles.

"What's that Jou?" Yami bent over. "You know where Yugi's Deck is!" Jou nodded. "Will you tell us?" 

Instead of leading us all to Yugi's deck, Jou came up to me and stamped a Sapphire paw print card on my forehead. Yami gasped.

"You want to play Jou's Clues! YAY!" Yami clapped. "Will you help us, Ryou?" he looked up to me with giant eyes... which may have been hard for him considering his aibou was the one that did the puppy eyes. Having said that, I looked to Yugi and indeed the shovel was doing that as well.

So I nodded. "I'll help you."

"YAY!" Yami pranced about and sang. "We are gonna play Jou's clues, because we're really smart!" He danced some more and went about explaining the rules. "We gotta find a paw print, and that's the first clue! We put it in our notebook cos they're who's clues?"

"JOE'S CLUES!" Some unknown children sang.

He sang some more of the rules and when he reached the end of the song. "... and we sit down in our thinking chairs and think... think... think..." Upon sitting in his chair, he accidentally sat on Jou, who had made it back there somehow. The 'dog' yelped and jumped down, running off somewhere. "Oh my..." Yami placed a hand to his forehead. "Did you see where Jou went, Ryou?"

I point left and Yami stands up and bows. "Thank you! Come on! Let's follow and we'll find out where Yugi's Deck is!"

I pull the Sapphire Paw print card off my forehead and follow Yami into the kitchen. He's walking very funny and slow. It's kind of annoying, but I don't want to say anything, lest I anger him. I look about. Every time I come into his kitchen, something new is written on the refrigerator. It's fun to read what it says.

Today: Can I be Pikachu?

I shrug. Perhaps some authoress came in and wrote that. But something else caught my eye. It was a Sapphire Paw print card and it was resting on a soap dish near the sink.

"Say, Yami." I catch his attention. "There's a clue right there!"

Yami looked angry. "I do not put glue in my hair!"

"I said a CLUE!"

"Oh!" Yami turned red. I swear, he can be a bit of an airhead at times. But he can't help it if his hearing isn't good. He finally notices the clue and grins. "It's a soap dish! Time for our handy dandy... notebook!"

Ding.

After a bit of muttering, Yami manages to conjure up a horrible drawing of a happy soap dish. He taps his chin with his green crayon and thinks for a moment. "Where would Jou hide Yugi's Deck?"

"In the bathroom." I shrug.

"Maybe..." Yami grins. "But we need more clues!" He placed the notebook back in his pocket and a little shout caught his attention. Seto popped up, dressed in a salt shaker costume. I shake my head. Yami's household really does have problems...

"Bonjour!" he had a French accent, which was sort of odd for him. I he said all the words exactly as if they were written. Anyone who truly spoke French would be very cross with him. "I need your help Yami! Anzu and I are making lunch for Mokuba, but we have no idea how!"

Yami gasped. "We'll help! Won't we, Ryou?" 

I nodded and Seto led us to Anzu dressed as a peppershaker and Mokuba was a paprika container and cooing quite happily. Like I said, they had issues...

"You see." Seto explained. "We want to make him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but we don't know what ingredient to use!"

Anzu nodded. "Which of these ingredient should we use!" She pointed to Jelly, the Millennium Puzzle and a Celtic Guardian Card.

Yami gasped. "I don't know either! Ryou! Help!"

I sighed. I still couldn't figure out how these people managed to pay the rent. I pointed to the jelly.

"Say, you're right!" Seto grinned and then pointed to another group. "Which one?" There was a Joey Action Figure, BEWD poop and peanut butter.

"The peanut butter." I pointed and received more praise for my genius.

Anzu pointed to the last group. "This is the hardest of all!" Bread, Yugi's Hair Gel, and my skateboard. I blinked. When did my skateboard get here? Ah, ,well I just pointed to the bread and received praise. I would steal what was mine back later.

"That's right! Now we can make Mokuba some peanut butter and jelly sandwich!" Seto grinned. "Thanks so much Yami!"

My mouth hung open. But I did all of the work! How come he got praised? Ah well. I'll get them back for stealing my skateboard anyway. Yami motioned for me to follow him outside. I did so, reluctantly, looking around hastily for yet another clue. That way I'd get this done so much faster.

Ne, TBC!

Ending Notes: XD! Well... I typed much more than I thought.... so I guess that I'll just have to erm, continue this later!

Yugi Muse: Hah! Yami's acting like a dork!

Yami Muse: Shut up, shovel.

Yugi Muse: T.T

Erm... R&R? All flames will be used to torch my sister's YGO cards so they may never be used against me! MAHAHHAA! Mine are better anyway. XD


	2. Part 2

:: Kitzaku-san ::

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Gi Oh or Blues Clues

Authoress Note: ^.^ Eee! Thanks for all the reviews and here's your reward! One very... finished story! This was gonna be a one shot but it was too long so... yeah. Second chapter.

:: Jou's Clues ::

Yami was doing that stupidly ridiculous walk again and I was forced to follow. Not in that same manor. Though, through all this, I have come up with some odd conclusion: Yami does not look good in horizontal stripes.

Somehow, one way or another, we made it outside. It took a while, due to Yami's walking problems. My sensitive hearing picked up some insane giggling. Yami must have heard it too, so we went to investigate.

It was the Yugi shovel and Honda dressed as a pail. Just what they were laughing about I don't know. Obviously, Yami wanted to find out.

"Hey, Yugi! Hey Honda! What are you doing?" He asked in his unusually cheerful voice.

"We're playing hide and seek with our animal friends!" Yugi jumped up and down. "Do you want to play too?"

Yami looked to me as if I had all the answers to the universe. "Do you want to help me play?"

I threw my hands up in exasperation. "Sure, Why not? I 's not like I have anything better to do anyway."

"Great!" Yami clapped. "OK, what do we do?"

"Well," the Honda pail started to explain. "Our animal friends hide and we have to find them!"

"Sounds fun!" Yami said. Yugi and Honda took us to our first scene.

"Do you see Squirrel?" Yugi asked.

This was followed by silence. Did they honestly expect me to do everything? That damn squirrel was standing in the middle of the clearing. Either it was a horrible hider, or Yugi, Yami and Honda were horrible seekers. "It's right there." I pointed.

"You found me!" the squirrel chirped in an unusually high pitched voice. It then hopped off.

"You know," Yami said. "You're really great at using your brain."

"Thanks." I _so_ longed to blurt out '_at least I have one_' or '_unlike some other people_'. Perhaps their brains couldn't comprehend the insult anyway. I did have to give them credit for master thieves though. After all, they did manage to make off with my skateboard.

Yugi and Honda took us to their sacred sandbox. "Do you see Fish?"

Now this was disturbing. Why would a fish be playing hide and seek with two weirdoes dressed as a shovel and a pail, let alone be in a sandbox? But there it was, flopping around in the sand.

Once more, they all expected me to find the animal. Honestly, How do these people get be in life? "There." I pointed.

"You found me!" The fish cried and then ceased its flopping. For a moment, I thought it died. But then I realized this was a kid's show and nothing dies. It just got really really fainted.

Then something else caught the corner of my eye. A clue! One more step to getting this over with! "Yami look! A clue!" I pointed to the clothesline where there was a Sapphire Paw print card taped to a towel. Jou was barking madly and chasing his non-existent tail.

It took Yami a while to realize that I Was pointing to a clue. And when he realized what it was he did a double take. "A clue! You know what this means! It's time for our handy dandy..."

"Notebook!" Yugi and Honda clapped.

"Notebook!" Yami repeated and pulled it out. He finally managed to draw a disgruntled towel with his worn-down crayon and sighed in content. "A towel. Now where would Jou hide Yugi's cards with these two clues? A soap dish and a towel?"

"The bathroom." I said.

"Maybe, Ryou." Yami put the notebook and crayon away. "But we need just one more clue."

Then suddenly, a dreaded song pounded out from no where. "Mail time... mail time... mail time!"

"Oh my gosh!" Yami went into a frenzy. "Mail's here!" Suddenly, for reasons unknown, we warped back into Yami's living room. Yami and Jou danced about doing wierd movements.

"Here's the mail it never fails. It makes me wanna wag my tail. When it comes I wanna wail. MAAAAIIL!" I swear, hearing Yami wail mail on the top of his lungs and waving his arms was the freakiest thing I'd ever seen.

Yami sat down in his chair. Sugoroku popped in through the window, sending shards of glass flying through the room like shrapnel. He was dressed as a mailbox, of course. "Mail's here!" he pulled out a letter and handed it to Yami. Then he disappeared out the window.

Yami brushed the glass fragments off himself and looked at the envelope. "We just gotta letter!"

I rolled my eyes as he stood up, about to do another dance. "We just gotta letter! We just gotta letter! We just gotta letter! I wonder who it's from?" he opened it. "Look Ryou! It's a letter from our friends!"

"Hello Yami!" Weevil waved. "Rex and I are taking sex education class!"

"Woah!" Yami shut the envelope. "I'll save this one for later... say have you seen Jou?"

I pointed left and Yami began his annoying walk over that way. Suddenly, we heard a voice and stopped. It was Mai dressed as side table drawer.

"Yami, I have a present for you." She said.

"You do? That's great!"

"Here..." she opened her purse and brought out a postcard of Hawaii. "It's a souvenir from my vacation."

"Gee, thanks Mai!" Yami said. Then-

"Bau bau bau.... bau bau bau!" Doo...woop! Jou disappeared into the postcard.

"Apparently, you found Jou." I said.

"Hey Jou just ski-do'd into this postcard! Let's follow!" Yami gasped. "Jou ski-do'd! We can too!" Complete with stupid dance.

We warped into the postcard of Hawaii to find Jou already resting in a hammock between two palm trees. There came a distinct sound of a door slam and I turned around to see Malik dressed as a clock.

"Oh! Hey Yami. Hey Ryou!" He waved. "Don't you just love this thing? I found it and I don't know what it is!"

I rolled my eyes. "That's an outhouse."

"Oh." The Malik Clock said. "Well, it doesn't smell so good in there, so I'll leave now." He ski-do'd out of the postcard.

"I'm curious about this outhouse." Yami pulled the door open. "Ugh! The smell!" But when he had the door open, I saw a glimpse of the Sapphire Paw print card.

"There's a clue in there!" I cried. The third one! The game was over!

Yami opened the door back up. "Well of course there's poo in there." Then he saw it. "OH! A clue! On toilet paper! This calls for our handy dandy notebook!"

Ding.

He drew another horrible drawing. I swear Yami has no art talent at all. "Oh my... this is our third clue! You know what this means..." Yami gasped.

"The thinking chair?" I said.

"Yes! But we gotta get out of here." Yami said. Jou got up from the hammock and ski-do'd out. Followed by us. Yami ran to his thinking chair in that same funky manor.

"Now... where would Jou hide Yugi's deck? Our clues are... a soapdish. A towel and toilet paper...."

"A bathroom." I said for the third time that day.

Yami was apparently ignoring me because he was talking to himself. "Maybe if we wrapped the toilet paper with the towel like a cape and used the soap dish as a hat- it could be a rice field worker!"

"Try a bathroom." My patience was growing thin.

"Oh, I know!" Yami cried out. "A bathroom! We just figured out Jou's Clues!"

I hid my face in my hands as Yami prepared to do another dance with Jou. "We just figured out Jou's Clues! We just figured out Jou's Clues! We just figured out Jou's Clues! Because we're really smart!"

If only he knew I'd figured it out from the beginning this would have gone by so much faster. Yami was now on his way to the bathroom to search for Yugi's lost deck. It was just lying there in the open, on the floor.

"My deck!" Came a voice from behind me.

"Look Ryou! It's Yugi and Honda! Remember how we played Hide and seek?" Yami clapped. I remember that all too well. Images of dead fish and squirrels find themselves lodged in my brain but I shake them off. That's when Seto, Anzu and Mokuba show up. "Look! Remember how we helped them make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?"

"I didn't want PB&J." Mokuba pouted. "I said lobster tail." Seto and Anzu ignored him.

Jou was running in circles again barking until Seto told him to shut up like the scared little puppy dog he was. But Jou bit his salt shaker's head off. Though, to the children's dismay, this happened offscreen and was still somehow censored.

"Now that Yugi had his deck. Yami said. "Do you wanna duel?"

I suddenly changed my mind. "No thank you. I'm going home before my mind leaves without me in this god-forsaken place." I said. Though, I ignored the awkward stares the crazy house gave me. On the way out, I grabbed my skateboard as I heard Yami sing again.

"Now it's time for so long. But we'll sing just one more song. Thanks for doin' your part. You sure are smart! You know for me and you. And my dog Jou. We can do anything we wanna do!"

That's it. Last straw. For getting revenge on my skateboard, for wasting my time and for putting me through the torture of Yami in horizontal stripes, I did the only thing imaginable.

I blew the house up, mind you.

I pity the kid who now has Yami's foot in their cereal.

:: Owari ::

Ending Notes: O.O; Ryou started to really act like Yami Bakura in that one hm....

Yugi Muse: That's because he really was Yami Bakura! Ryou and I went to see Phantom of the Opera remember?

Yami Muse: Stop with the Phantom stuff already! -.-;

So Yami, how will you let people know to R&R today?

Yami Muse: *grins* I got R&R Pizza's!


End file.
